SHE who must not be named OR Why I hate Twilight the movie

I've been getting phone calls, text messages and questions from some of you asking me about Twilight. Yes, I went to the Twilight movie on Friday. Yes, I made a big deal out of it and was really looking forward to it. NO I didn't like it, NO it wasn't good and Yes...I'm upset. I'm so mad at that the director that she is the equivalent of Harry Potter's LORD VOLDEMORT and is not allowed to be named...ever. I'm actually upset about a lot of things so I guess its easier to list them here so I can gather my thoughts properly.

First of all I'm upset at the effort I put in to making sure no one spoiled my Twilight buzz. I didn't listen to my husband who had no interest in anything related to, mentioning or refering to Twilight. I ignored all the people who said it was going to suck and put together a whole party just to showcase it! We got together to make shirts and go to the movie and organized a dinner. All that was fun... the being together and eating together; everything else sucked. I'm definetly mad at the effort I put into it.

Second, it was NOTHING like the book! I wasn't expecting it to be dead on; i had seen scenes that were not in the book but in the trailer. I was okay with that. I know movies are very rarely exactly like the book. But this movie...I want to kill, rip, tear, and beat the director. What was she thinking?! She messed up practically every scene in the movie! Did she even read the book?
1) What was up with the Biology class scene? Why is he holding his nose like she just farted and it smelled bad?
2)Where was all the dialogue between them in the restraunt? Edward says a few sentences about sex, money and a cat and that's it! That scene is where you find out how Edward can read minds, and you learn about vampires and his family.
3) What was up with that field trip to the nature whatever?! I understand having to edit certain scenes but adding things that never happened and make no sense in the plot!!!! What was that?!
4) Wasn't Victoria supposed to have red hair?
5) Why are Charlie and Bella eating out? They never ate out. That was one of the things that defined Bella; her role as a parent to Renee and taking care of Charlie with the cooking. She didn't cook in any of the scenes!
6)Isn't Jacob supposed to be an indian, born and raised on the reservation? If you're going to make a non-native american look native american, can you please look at some pictures! Jacob's hair looks like it was pasted ontop of his head and then blow dried at the bottom. And he spoke like an English guy (Thanks Channy for pointing that out to me) I laughed every time I saw him; he looked stupid.
7) AND THEN, the piece de resistance! THEY CUT OUT THE MEADOW SCENE!!!!!!. Hello!!!! Key scene in the book, turning point of the story, cut out and for what?!!!! The meadow is where Edward FINALLY makes the decision to love Bella instead of ripping her throat out. It's when they actually get together! Not to mention the fact that Stephanie Meyer had a dream about a vampire and a girl talking in the meadow and that's how Twilight got started! It's the best part in the book and it's gone! And what did we replace it with? Edward jumping through the trees like some Tarzan wanna-be whose glittering body looks like my 6 year old niece smeared him with lip gloss. And then he and Bella end up on the ground lying side by side with music in the background like a Korean soap opera! What??!!

Third thing I hated about this movie...the acting. It was atrocious, horrible, corny, stupid, and insulting. Rob Pattinson, here's a clue: To be "mesmerizing" doesn't mean you force your eyes to be the size of Texas. It means you're supposed to be alluring and invite people in, flirt a little. Kristen, here's an acting clue as Bella: Talk faster! Bella was observant not mentally retarded. Every scene Kristen just stands there either baffled or upset. Bella had more of an emotional range than happy and not happy.
I practically fell asleep in the theater the acting was so bad! All they did was get a couple of lines that became famous from the book, threw them together, and called it a movie.

Whew! It feels good to vent all that. But I must say, there were some things I did like.

1) Every scene with Edward's family was awesome; the kitchen (though it didn't happen) and the baseball game. Excellent and superb! Emmett, Alice, Jasper, and Rosalie were exactly how I imagined. Even Carlisle. Esme....ah....they could've done better but she was all right.
2) Charlie Swan. He was surprisingly funny and perfect as Bella's dad. He was exactly how imagined Charlie and his acting...awesome! Take notes from this guy Rob and Kristen.
3) The action. When it came to James hunting and trying to kill Bella it was great action. I knew how it turned out but I was still on the edge of my seat.
4) The cameo with Stephanie. Thought I hated the diner scene, I loved the little cameo with Stephanie Meyer there. If you missed it, it's the part where Bella meets Charlie to eat at the diner and the waitress gives Stephanie, and calls her by her real name, a glass of water before she goes over to Bella and Charlie.

Over all I 80% hated Twilight. The girls I went to the movie with did say I may need to see it again since my expectations of it may have been too high. They could be right. These are my first impressions and I wanted to share them since my gut reaction tends to be right on the spot.
If you saw the movie and loved it, I apologize for killing your buzz. Kudos to you for finding enjoyment in one of the very few movies I actually detest.

I will be going to the movie again...matinee of course...with Channy. I'm going to give it one more shot before making my final opinions though what I said sounds pretty final already. But if you loved the movie or hated it, you got to admit that the book is still better. My expectations of this movie were like that of Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings and Da Vinci Code: I know it's not exact but it can still be good like all of those movies were. This was so horrible it doesn't come close. Hopefully round 2 will be better.