I don't think I'm ready...

Okay, so I'm pregnant. But recent events have brought the question to my mind, "Am I really ready?". I mean let's be honest; me...in charge of another human being...who can't eat, sleep or poop without my help? Doubtful, very doubtful.

This thought continues to be drilled in my head. I've talked to my mom about it and she tells me that you can never be prepared for things like this. No kid comes with an owner's manual (though I want them to) and you just have to do what comes naturally. Like some sort of maternal instinct.

Now I tell you that story, to tell you this one.

Yesterday I went to class and presented the research I've done so far on my paper. One of my classmates had to bring her 5 year old son since the husband is gone and no one could watch him. No problem. But this kid was ANNOYING. He was always singing at the top of his lungs or talking when other people were; and it wasn't unintentional. He'd wait till you wanted to say something and then belted his lungs out. His mom tried to hush him but she didn't give it much effort; like she did this everyday and it was no big deal.

Well then he starts running around the classroom, hitting a stick against the chairs. My teacher is trying to be understanding but at the same time is ticked off. Finally the kid hits my chair and I tell him, "Be careful, you're going to trip and fall."

He stuck his tongue at me!

So I stuck mine back. And he cried. Like I care. He tried to hit me but I held his head with my hand so his arms started swinging towards me but never hitting me. (You're probably wondering what the other people are doing. His mom's in the bathroom, my teacher is at the board with her back to me and the rest of the class is giving me the thumbs up)So finally he gets tired and gives up.

Class ends an hour later and as I'm leaving to my car so is my classmate and her son. She's telling the kid "Be careful you're going to trip." he sticks his tongue out at her and runs. Well obviously he trips, falls flat on his face and I run back inside laughing my head off. The look on his face when he realized he fell, after his mom and I said he was going to, was priceless.

But as funny as this is...I don't think I'm ready to have one of my own. But I can't really do anything about that now can I?

I'm pregnant!

Okay, so now I'm ready to tell people...I'm pregnant! I'm about 13 weeks pregnant to be exact. In case you're wondering why I waited this long to tell, it's because I had a miscarriage 2 years ago when I was 9 weeks. There was no way I wanted to go through that pain again, so we waited.

Now that I'm in the 2nd trimester, no longer feel like I'm going to throw up my insides and don't have to pee every other hour...I am happy. I'm not going to lie, this child was a demon at first. Some might think that's harsh for me to say, but it's true. I have the hospital visits, medication, and tears to prove it. Hopefully it'll be a better newborn than it was a fetus but we all know how well that worked out for Elizabeth! :)

We'll get to see what it is at the end of May. Rabici and I are hoping for a boy, but my mom is hoping for a girl. I'll be okay with a girl, I just really want a boy. I've always wanted a boy first (like he'll protect his little sister later on or something).

So that's our great news to tell! I will be keeping everyone updated on my progress. Thanks to those who've already wished me well and I'm glad to be joining the ranks of mother's...it's going to be interesting.